The train ride to Bratislava featured a train far more advanced than the Polish trains. Polish trains are built simple and solid, featuring things like windows that open, allowing one to easily get fresh air at an easily adjustable rate. The train to Bratislava featured buttons that looked like air conditioning controls and vents that looked like air conditioning vents. Sadly it was all a ruse. And the windows didn't open. So we sat with three girls from Manchester and sweated. Upon arrival in Bratislava we discovered it, while not as hot as in the train, was still really hot.
Luckily it wasn't overly humid. We managed to check in and made our way through the heat to try local beer and foodstuffs.
Local food features a lot of sheep cheese, and is as a result actually flavoured. Take note Poland. Bratislava doesn't do espresso as well as Poland tho; Poland applied it's flavour removal might to the problem of removing bitterness and the result is very good.
Bratislava has churches, a modest castle, and so on but nothing too mind blowing. It also features a hard minimum of four cafes per street edge (left and right being independent edges) in the old town so the main activity tourists engage in is staggering through the heat from cafe to cafe.
In the evening we went to a highly recommended local restaurant and had highly disappointing food. Garlic soup of little flavor except a hint of garlic and other such masterpieces.